Ramblings.

It's been a while since last I blogged. In all honesty I've been ruminating a lot, and not sharing. 

I've been struggling a fair bit lately. My chemo has gotten easier. I'm down to once every 3 weeks so that helps. So does my weight loss. I'm getting less of the drug, so I'm thinking that's a plus. We finally got my meds tweaked so the side effects are manageable. All to the good. 

I'm totally fascinated by this whole idea of being broken. And that it is only through being broken that our light, our soul, our purpose truly is revealed.  There is a Hindu goddess named Akhilandeshvari. Loosely translated it means never not broken. Not to be confused as a victim, she embraces being broken as a path to transformation and growth. It is only through being broken that we are able to distill the essence of who and what we are. Here's a link to page. There are more, but I found this most interesting http://www.wicca-spirituality.com/akhilandeshvari.html 

 I see my self as broken, and I'm ok with that. It's a concept I really want to exore in my art. 

I've been reading a lot of obituaries and tributes to people who have passed due to cancer. I admit, I'm really getting tired of hearing all the warrior jargon. "Lost their courageous battle with cancer". It drives me absolutely nuts. I think I'm going to write my own obiturariy. And if any of you use that phrase or any like it, I'm gonna come back and haunt your ass. You have been warned!

In all seriousness, I'm not fighting cancer. I'd rather be defined as having LIVED a courageous life in the face of adversity. Dying is easy. Living is way, way harder and far more of an accomplishment. 

And I guess that's what I'm struggling with. Letting go of the life I had and trying to forge a new one. Change is hard, regardless of the cause. 

The rookery (yes rookery) on Iona in Scotland. These , and the few on the other side are the only trees on the island. Those are the ruins of a nunnery. Very spiritual place. I highly recommend going

Tree outside of the park Pavillion in Assinniboine Park in Winnipeg Manitoba. Connor and I flaked out under it waiting for the opening of an art show in which one of my pieces was selected for. Yay me

And the piece.  Transformation. 

This is what I want to be remembered for. LIVING my life.